*warning for brief mentions about sex and sexuality in this blog post but for the most part it's pretty PG I think*

This is another topic that I'm not sure I'll be able to explain my thoughts properly but I planned to write this around valentine's day and it never happened (whoops) But this is kinda important to me so I'll try my dang best as always.

I finished reading Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao very fittingly on Valentine's Day. I liked it a lot and it was a nice break from reading fantasy (which is my usual genre) The plot is basically an enemies to queerplatonic partners story between two college students and while reading it it made me think a lot about my feelings on being asexual and aro-spec.

I've known I was asexual since I was 16. Like a lot of people at the time it was thanks to Tumblr that I found out asexuality was even a thing and I was so happy to find out that there were actually some people out there that felt the same as me. My sexual attraction pretty much doesn't exist and I'm very repulsed by the thought of doing any of that with anyone (but I'm sometimes ok with reading it in fiction as long as it's not too graphic)

Romantic attraction…is a little more complicated tbh 😅I identify as greyromantic. I've probably had under 5 crushes in my entire life so far (that is, not counting fictional characters lol) Many times I'm unsure if it is actually a crush or just a squish. I feel like my romantic attraction is very very limited. I don't really care if I get into a romantic relationship or not but sometimes I think…it would be nice y'know? Having someone to be close to and spend time sharing your passions and thoughts and silly inside jokes with...but more than you would with just a friend. The queerplatonic relationship between the two MC's in Dear Wendy honestly sounds like the dream and I'd love to have something like that someday! But I'd also be pretty ok with having a group of friends I see regularly as well.

Being aro-spec isn't easy overall, but it's who I am and I'm happy we're getting more stories about us in media at the very least.